the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
