guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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