These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
