Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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