I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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