There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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