apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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