Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
love makes seman taste better
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
