At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
