I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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