proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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