yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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