hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I smell stomach acid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
