Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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