the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
