'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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