I think i peed on brittanys purse
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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