yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
