some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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