sarcasm needs its own font
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
