This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
