Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
