Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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