Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize