Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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