She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
