dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
