# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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