I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My breasts were aching with rage.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
