Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
