My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
