Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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