Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.