i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions