I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Banned from zoo.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?