i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
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I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media