my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
