So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
