I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
True strength comes from lack of pants
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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