no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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