Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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