Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
