They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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