watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
