So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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