You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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