I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
