Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
