sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
