there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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