I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
