Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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