He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
