Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
