Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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