C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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