I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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