And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
