nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
