You made me cry and you don't even care
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
