i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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