I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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