How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
