I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
